First let me share how at the beginning, there was this awkwardness of not knowing how to address Peng Leong. He was after all, Pastor Andrew's father and so, I thought Mr Lim or Uncle Lim seemed more appropriate. However, this awkwardness was soon put to rest when he joined the Kelbang 1 Disciple Group last August. In no uncertain terms, he told the group, "You can call me Benny or Peng Leong, it doesn't matter, but don't call me Mr Lim". And so with that, the ice was broken, and the awkwardness vanished. That was the beginning of a special friendship we enjoyed with him and not with "our Pastor's father".
And now to explain why I am standing here giving the eulogy. Three Sundays ago, I met Peng Leong as we were walking to the sanctuary. We stopped to chat for a while. Then he said, "I'm going to ask you a favour." He paused and said seriously and yet in a lighthearted manner, "Don't laugh when I tell you what it is. "Don't laugh..." So I thought it must be some embarrassing incident that had happened. More soberly this time, he said, "When the time comes, can you do the eulogy for me?" It was totally unexpected and my instant reaction was to show a cringed face which probably spoke of my uncertainty and sadness to undertake such a task. He continued, "So, I'm saying thank you first. You can't say "No". Anyway, don't worry; I'll be watching you from up there." I nodded and whispered to him, "Live to the fullest." Little did I know that I was going to fulfill my promise so soon.
Peng Leong came to Malacca about 2 1/2 years ago with his son and family. He had always kept a low profile, but even from afar, I could see that he was a doting grandfather who handled his grandson superbly. There was one bible class he was attending and for some reason that day, Erwyn chose to be with him in the class. I was amazed that Erwyn sat on his lap throughout the session without a squeak. The little chap was so contented and secure in his grandfather's care. Many a time, he would also share what Elyse likes and does - like any proud grandfather would do. His devotion to them was blatantly obvious.
Knowing him from a closer range started sometime in August last year when I was facilitating the first Journaling class. There were only 5 members in the class and we met about 6 times. It was here that I discovered the deep and intimate relationship Peng Leong had and was enjoying with the Lord. Allow me to go a little further on this and try to capture his thoughts in the first person.
Once he said:
"I know the discipline is to read a portion of scriptures, to ponder over them before the Lord and to write our response. But my personal experience in this that is my conversation with God can often stretch for days. It is like an endless communion and a two-way conversation with Him. Sometimes I would wrestle with God and would hear Him say to me, "You are stubborn" and at other times, I would just bask in His loving Presence."
An unceasing communion with God! How I envy him for such an intimate relationship with God. For sure, he had gone beyond the structure of the journaling discipline. I felt that the journaling tool was too restrictive for him. He had already found something better and had moved on further ahead of us, but in no way did he push his style upon us nor discourage us in any way. On the contrary, the facilitator was humbled and inspired. His sharing revealed to me the lack and the poverty of my personal experience with our great and loving God. It left me with a deep thirst to know God like he did.
It was also sometime in August last year when he joined the Klebang 1 DG and we got to know him so much better since then. When we talked about death, he would readily and wholeheartedly say that he was ready to go home to the Lord. This was way before he had any inkling of his medical condition. He felt that he had done everything he was supposed to do and would be ready to leave the world any time without any regrets. I'm not suggesting that he was waiting for it. Far from it, he was enjoying his grandchildren and family fully, he was doing his exercises to stay healthy and he was still thirsting to learn about God by attending the after-service Bible classes consistently. But he knew that should the day come, he was ready to return to God joyfully and peacefully.
If I could try to pinpoint the key to such a deep assurance and confidence, it would be his faith made alive through the nurturing of a continual and intimate communion with God. Many a time, he would share during our DG that our relationship with our Heavenly Father could be compared to a bedroom relationship. It is an intimate one. It is also the source of spiritual sustenance for a daily "walking the talk".
I am tempted to elaborate on his many other thoughts regarding his personal faith, but that would make a very long eulogy indeed. When I try to think of what Peng Leong would have wanted to say to those he is leaving behind and who are missing him. I believe he would want us to remember what he had said about his readiness to return home with no regrets when the time comes and that he felt he had completed his earthly task as best as he could. It is no small comfort to hear him say that with such confidence and assurance of his heavenly destination. Yes, I believe that is what he wanted me to say for him - "It's okay. I'm ready. No regrets."
And one more thing I am sure of, and that is, not only is he with our Heavenly Father now, he must be enjoying his unceasing communion with Him, asking Him all the questions he had while on earth...
Finally, Peng Leong, if you are watching like you said you would, I hope this is ok for you.
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